5 Essential Techniques for Navigating Tough Conversations as a Leader: Mastering Confrontation Without Fear

Confrontation can feel suffocating.

Your chest tightens up. Heart rate spikes. Hands get clammy.

When I was a new leader I was terrified of confronting others.

But being a leader means owning the performance of everyone on your team. And when someone isn’t performing you can’t let it slide.

This means having tough conversations.

I’ve made the mistake of avoiding these confrontations, hoping things would get better. Because I was afraid.

It did not go well.

Here’s how I got better at handling tough conversations 👇

✔️Don’t make it personal.

Stay focused on the issue, rather than the individual. Say something like “The results are down.” vs “Your results are down.”

✔️Write it out

Write out everything you want to say. I mean everything.

Writing it out will help you clarify your thoughts, ensure that you don’t forget anything, and

✔️Practice, practice, practice

Say the words out loud. Do it in front of a mirror or to your cat. Whoever will listen to you. Saying the words out loud will show you that the conversation isn’t that scary.

✔️Seek to understand

You have an agenda and a point to get across. But like any good communication, if you want to be heard you’ve got to listen as much as you talk.

✔️Treat yourself

After a tough conversation, do something nice for yourself. Soak in a bubble bath. Go throw the ball for your dog. Call your BFF. Pick your kids up from school early that day. Do things that bring you joy and a bit of comfort.

You’ll feel better.

Confrontation can be uncomfortable, but you can get better at it. Having tough conversations is a skill that can be developed.

Don’t let that convo go another day. It’s not fair to you or the person you need to talk to.