Transforming 1-on-1s: How Emphasizing Personal Connection Can Elevate Team Performance

A lot of 1-on-1s suck.

There’s so much advice out there about having an effective 1-on-1.

And the advice is good:

– Set an agenda – Listen more than you speak – Make sure you’re not interrupted – Give them your undivided attention

But the one piece of advice that I 100% disagree with?

”This time should only be focused on performance. And get through the personal stuff as quickly as you can.”

Excuse me, what?!

Some of my most productive and effective 1-on-1s happened when we only talked about personal things.

I’ve spent that time grieving with someone over the loss of a family member. I’ve spent that time sharing stories of our children. I’ve spent that time talking about Pokemon cards.

Life exists outside the 40-hour week.

And your team will perform their best for you when they can trust you with their whole self. When they believe you care about them as a person.

This is time to earn trust. To build relationships. If you’re a people-driven org this should be a high priority for you.

You have 39 ½ hours every week to talk about their never-ending tasks, their KPIs, the things that they need to work on.

Use this precious 30 minutes every week to learn about their hopes, their lives, and to build a real connection.

1-on-1s are not for you and your KPIs. I’ll say that again for all leaders.

This is not your time! 

This is your team’s time. Spend it on them, and youll get so much more.

Leaders, what are you getting from your 1-on-1s?